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Separation Anxiety

Children cannot be understood simplistically by their age or offense. Families and foster parents should be informed about how children are traumatized by separation from family, which may compound the effects of maltreatment. Families and foster parents should be supported to work together to meet the child's need to feel safe, not just physically but from the sense of loss, fears and self-blame in his/her inner world.

Without trauma-focused efforts of families, foster parents and therapists, children separated from the individuals they are attached to will be delayed, depressed, aggressive, limited in their academic progress, and affected in their relationships with adults as well as children (Peleg & Halaby & Whaby 2006).

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The development of children is further affected when they cannot comprehend like their age mates. Children and adolescents who do not pick up on cues correctly or are unable to sustain attention or organize themselves are at risk of behavior problems that contribute to multiple placements and arrest. Too often, trauma is viewed as the therapist's domain and disabilities as special education's responsibility, but these affect the thinking, behavior and relationships of children throughout every day.

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The normal thinking and behavior of most children cannot be expected of the child who has been delayed by trauma and/or who has disabilities (Poole & Miller& Church 2004).

On the other hand, courts too often fail to apply a "typical child or adolescent standard," not recognizing that some behavior of children in foster care and delinquents is normal. For example, bedwetting by a child in foster care after a visit is common in children of the same age from divorced families after visits with their noncustodial parent. Another example is that a teenager's mistakes in thinking while with a group of inebriated friends involved in a fight where a victim is seriously injured could also be seen at high school parties where no arrests occur.

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